Welcome to Undoing, Women on the Threshold and the Journey and Beyond. I'm your host, Jeanie Duncan. This is a space for the brave and the becoming. Women who are redefining success, power, and purpose on their own terms. Each week we step into honest, unguarded conversations with women who have dared to pulse, pivot, or completely unravel what no longer fits. These are women who are standing at the threshold. They're deep in the messy middle, and they're emerging with something truer, deeper, and more aligned than what came before. Together, we explore what happens when we let go of old identities, untangle the narratives we've inherited, and choose to trust the parts of us that are still taking shape. Because courage isn't about holding everything together, it's about letting yourself unravel so what's real can rise. This is undoing. I'm so glad you're here. Hi everyone, I'm Jeannie Duncan, host of Undoing, Women on the Threshold in the Journey and Beyond. Today's show is what I call a solo episode, one of the formats for this podcast where I'll share perspective on the topic of undoing. Today's focus is literally on the undoing that had to happen in order for me to create a podcast called Undoing. On this show, the formats will be a blend of episodes like this, as well as guest episodes, where I'll interview women living their most bold, brave lives, as well as duo episodes where I host conversations with my partner, Lynn Kuntz. Combined, we'll keep things real and bring a lens to the topic of undoing from a variety of perspectives. The point for today is this. I want to share a little about the birthing story of undoing, the learning curve I've experienced and what I had to undo in order to start something new. I started this podcast because I believe there's nothing more important than attuning to your innermost true self, really knowing who you are, getting to the core of that, and unapologetically, unabashedly living it in the world. It's my core passion. It's the work I do in myself every day. It anchors my business and leadership development, advising, and coaching. It's the foundation on which I wrote my book, Choosing Me, and the basis for undoing. It begins with the question What needs undoing in order to be your most real you? And what happens when you undo, when you delay, excavate, when you leave something or begin? What happens when you more fully live you? So today, as this podcast is emerging, I'm looking at what I had to undo in order to begin. When you're starting something new, things have to change. You've got to let go of some things. You you have to change. So there are three key things. One, moving into my fear and embracing what I call the learning curve. Two, it's undoing some stuff in a very full business portfolio and a crowded calendar and making room, prioritizing it. And lastly, and the biggest one of all is undoing limited beliefs and writing some new ones. And we'll get to that in a minute. So first, moving into my fear and embracing the learning curve. You know, anytime you start something new, you're not going to be great at it at first. And that's hard to face. It's really uncomfortable. Like my podcast, I had a choice between do I do this? Do I take the leap and do something new? Or do I choose not to? Do I stay the course? I'm I'm really comfortable here. My work is good. I'm skilled at it. Uh both actions bring some risk and reward. Do you know the number one reason people resist trying something new? It's the fear of looking bad. It's real, folks. It's real for all of us. So I weighed both sides. Do I leap or do I not? I stayed in this place for so long. Like I knew I really wanted to do this. There's just something that calls to me to start a podcast where I'm lifting up other voices and learning about their truth journeys and sharing them with you. And then I'm like, wow, I've got so much to change and do. And this is scary. I've never done it before. So I fell to that over-analyzing, that waffling, that hesitation. And also, hello, we all know this. Does the world need one more podcast? I feel like there are millions of podcasts, but actually I looked this up. Did you know that there are nearly half a million active podcasts? So on and on this went. If I leap, I risk attempting something I might not be good at. That might take me a while to grow my skill. I risk, will anyone listen? Will they care? Will I actually have something to say? If I don't leap, I stay in my comfort zone. It's real cozy in here. I risk never knowing what could have been. I risk not being challenged in that terrible thing of stagnation. I miss the learning, the growth. I had to face my fear, which we all know that's what this is really about, and shift to, you know, it's not about the world and what it needs. It's about what I believe I have to offer to the world. It's about spotlighting bravery, courage, and underrepresented voices. I want to make a positive impact from my little slice of the world. Well, we know how this ended, because here we are on the podcast of undoing. And it's been hard. There are so many things I don't know still, and we'll never know. But some of the things that have been the challenge most challenging are like the recording and editing, the tech stuff, all of the equipment research and deciding on what's best for my work and building a listener audience. Things I've never done before. And in the learning curve, it's called in the beginning, it's called going against the grain, or just do the acronym GAG for short, because it quite literally makes you want to gag. It definitely has me. But the good news here, surely there's some good news, right? Is that the growth you experience from this learning curve increases the baseline. Yes. So the next time you begin, you begin at a little more advanced state from where you were before. And this is the whole point of it. Leap and you grow. Don't leap and you stay the course and miss out on the new learning. And how I came to know about this learning curve was through the research of psychologist and Stanford University professor Carol Dweck. She's known for her pioneering work around the concept of growth mindset, which she authored a book about a few years ago titled Mindset. And anytime I come upon this learning curve, it has me think about her growth mindset and my own growth edge. What am I growing in myself? What am I working on right now to further develop? And here with undoing, it's a lot of things. It's learning the craft of podcasting and all that goes into that. It's growing my ability around speaking and storytelling. It's a broad edge. I'm having a good time with it, despite all the challenge. So, number two, the second thing I had to undo, I had to get rid of some stuff. Like in my lines of business, I had to let some things go. I had to elbow out some room on a very overcrowded calendar and prioritize some things. So when I'm in this place, I think of a metaphor of a house and literally cleaning house as in clearing out a couple of rooms to make room for the new things that I'm wanting. In my case, this meant letting go of some existing work to make room for new work that wasn't even developed yet. This is both easy and hard. Easy because some of my work really wasn't calling to me as strongly as it once did. And in some ways, was even weighing me down. It was hard though, because it was work that I valued, and the important one here, it was revenue producing. So that was the first step of this part. After making the room, I had to prioritize it. And I struggled with that in the beginning because I hadn't formed this new habit yet of giving this priority. So I made room in my metaphorical house of business for this new thing. And it sat there like this vacancy light blinking, blinking, blinking. So imagine me walking up and down the hall, looking into the room with this podcast thing, this project, this dream just sitting there. And I'm like, hey, it's not gonna start by itself. So I began doing the work. And then later I'd find myself saying things like, Wow, it's been a few weeks since I touched that podcast project. That cannot happen when you're in development mode. It creates a one-step forward and three or four steps back. I needed to make time to do research, like listening to podcasts, watching countless how-to videos, engaging a branding strategist, and deciding which recording and editing platforms were right for my show. There were so many things. Ultimately, what worked for me to prioritize it was viewing the podcast as if it were a really important client. So doing this helped me value it enough to dedicate time and resources to its development. It also helped me put it on my calendar. I I created a daily client meeting from like 9 to 11 every day, some days more than that, and I let nothing interfere with that time. And here we are. It worked, it's happening. And lastly, the third thing that I had to undo, and I see I saved this biggie for the for the last one, is undoing limiting beliefs and writing some new ones. Oof. Yeah. So I had to acknowledge and change some limiting beliefs. Um, you this are probably gonna sound familiar to you. So it goes like this. I've never done this before, so I can't possibly know how to do it. If I'm putting myself out there, it's got to be perfect or pretty darn close to perfect. Huh. So it's one thing to spot a limiting belief. That's only the beginning. The real work is shining the light on it. I think of like when I was a kid and I thought there was a monster in my closet. It's like, open the door, break open the door, shine, you know, turn the light on. Hey, who's in there? And where did you come from? And then back to the belief. Is this really my belief? Or is it someone else's that I've adopted and am living out? In fact, now that I think of it, I don't even believe it. So I'm taking this limiting belief, this one core limiting belief I'm about to tell you, I'm taking it through some some workout stations at the gym. Okay, like when you go to the gym, when I go to the gym, I go through some stations. So this first station is naming it. Okay, so let's take one that shows up most for me, especially right now with this project. It's about speaking my voice. And the limiting belief is this speaking my voice is selfish. There it is. And then we're gonna go to the next station. So, where did this come from? Let's trace it back. Whose voice is this? When did I learn it? And this is throwing the light on and taking a closer look at it. And for me, tracing this back is when I was growing up, I heard so often from my mom and dad, both to me and to my siblings. I have an older brother and an older sister. We heard so often, don't be selfish. Don't be selfish, you know, to to each other. Don't be selfish. Be seen and not heard. That was another thing, almost more implied than spoken. But clearly we knew we weren't to speak until spoken to. Like in groups of adults, my parents would have adult friends over. It's basically like be quiet. And I learned this thing about you know, my parents gave me this sense that good people put others first, not themselves. So I became this little human in the world of being the right and good girl and being quiet. I learned it's not safe to put yourself out there. You might get hurt or you might get scolded or you might disappoint your parents, on and on. So I followed the rules. I like to say, I followed the rules back then, less so now. But then, okay, the next gem station is test it. Let's test this belief. Okay, so I named it. I'm really looking into where did this come from? And now I want to look at it and go, what evidence really supports this belief? And what evidence might not support this belief? So I looked at it and I thought, well, the evidence that supports this and limiting belief, are there moments where speaking your voice could come across as self-centered, selfish? Of course. Anyone's voice can, including my own. I think what's key for me here is staying in a place of self-awareness, or actually broader than that, it's awareness of self, of others, of the environment. It's knowing what's needed in terms of speaking your voice in a given situation. I think that's key. So next, the evidence against it. When I hear others speaking honestly and authentically, do I see them as selfish? No, I really don't. I find them often clear, direct, helpful. And I know that when I speak up, I add value and my voice has helped and supported others or improved a situation. At least most of the time, this is the way I feel. I hope I'm adding value and improving the situation. So it's not that I don't think I add value when I speak. It's just that there's always this voice inside my head that cautions me against stepping up and out, standing in the spotlight, taking up space, taking the stage. It comes from the conditioning of the first 20 years of my life. If you think about that, that's a long time. That's like, that's a lot of years. That's two decades. And being in that relationship with parents, and they're they're very well intentioned. My parents weren't trying to hurt me or harm me, but it's thick conditioning, I call it. And it feels like it takes nearly forever to recondition, or at least where I am in my life. I'm going, am I still dealing with this? Are you kidding me? Huh. My brain constantly blows the safety whistle around speaking up. The old pattern trying to stay in charge, you know? And I'm working on giving my safety guard another job and even reducing its hours. So let's take it to the next station. We've looked at the evidence, and now it's about rewriting. It's replacing this old limiting belief with a new, more useful belief. So again, old belief. Speaking my voice is selfish. The new belief that I'm rewriting and I'm practicing living it is my voice matters. And sharing it doesn't take away from others. In fact, it can lift others. And this is what I want to use it for. This is how I use it now. But that this is really what I'm wanting to do in my speaking and in my podcasting. So lastly, last station is practice it. Practice it. Go to that gym every single day, you know, and work it out. And like with public speaking in the podcast, if I'm honest, I start by practicing with safer topics. Like, I mean, this even, I think this is a pretty safe topic. What I'm experiencing in this journey is probably similar to some of your own experiencing when you're starting new things. Next, I have a soft opening before a more grand opening. So I haven't hugely promoted this podcast yet. I'm going to, but I'm I'm kind of easing into it because it just helps me be more comfortable. This other part of speaking is keynote speaking. I'm starting with audiences that are more comfortable. So that might mean that they're a little smaller, they're in my comfort zone of like the kind of clients I work with in the social sector or in the higher ed. It could be women leaders in transition. Those are some common audiences I work with that I feel really comfortable with and safe with. And I want to do that before I ease out more and more and hit bigger stages, greater expectations with higher stakes. And lastly, remembering that speaking my voice is both to share the wisdom and gifts that I have in service of helping others and having a meaningful impact. Huh. Rewriting a belief is not an easy thing. It's a journey like anything. So there's been a lot of undoing to get here. And I haven't done it alone. Resources are critical. And this is the last piece here where I want to encourage you to think the same about something you're starting new is what surrounds you. What's helped me most to start this new thing is remembering that this is not my first time starting something new. So I looked back over the course of my life and I thought of some examples of how I'd already done new things. And there's been plenty of them. A couple that come up for me most here in this moment is I founded and started a business. So I'm an entrepreneur and I've been doing this now for 16 years. So yeah, it's going pretty well. And then I authored and published my first book a few years ago. I published it in 2022. So I looked at these journeys and I applied some of the things I learned. It's been really helpful. A second resource is looking at who is successful at the thing I'm wanting to do. You remember I shared there's there's nearly a half a million podcasts right now. So I got a I got a big field to pull out just a couple of people who whose podcasts I really like and feel like they're successful and doing this well. So it was finding and talking to other podcasters and also speakers. And I met with them and asked for their advice, and they were so willing to give it, so helpful. It really does take a village to do big things. I also have a great team. Others who bring expertise where I don't or where I simply can't do it for myself. I might be able to do it for others. And so it's like a branding and design specialist has been really helpful to me. Also, my partner is my editor and producer because she brings a lot of experience and talent in that, and other amazing humans who support all the details coming together. And finally, I need help holding my feet to the fire and getting it done. Remember back to the beginning when I said I made room for it, but then I wasn't prioritizing it. So the way I've done this is enrolling some accountability partners. They are so key to me, and I think they're key here to anyone starting something new. I ask for what I need and how I need them to show up. And wow, do they forever deliver? They're powerful. So I want to turn it to you. What's here for you? What might you be dreaming of or starting or wanting to do differently in your life? And what do you need to change in order to do it? Because I'm sure there's some stuff that's got to change. What's the undoing that needs to happen in you right now? What are some things you need to let go of? What resources are around you? Probably right there at your fingertips, but maybe you haven't even stopped to think about what's there. You don't have to go it alone. And what's one step you can take right now? Just one. Drop me a note in the show comments. I really want to hear from you. And thanks for joining me today. Thank you for joining me on Undoing. I hope today's episode offered you a moment of recognition, resonance, or relief, something that reminds you that you're not alone in your journey. This is an opportunity to tune into your inner wisdom and open to what's wanting to emerge. If you're enjoying this podcast, please share it with a friend or colleague, leave a review, and follow the show. Until next time, what's the undoing that needs to happen in you?